How to Write a Commercial SMS That People Will Actually Read

SMS is one of the most reliable marketing communication channels, since it provides 98% reach and does not depend on Internet access or the unpredictable algorithms of social media platforms.

It is also worth adding that people perceive SMS as an official channel—after February 24, 2022, this is where messages from emergency services most often arrive. In addition, thanks to changes in legislation, mass spam has stopped. Today, people are confident that advertising through this channel only comes from reasonable businesses they are already familiar with.

In Ukraine, the average open rate for short text messages reaches 95%, which is significantly higher than through other common communication channels. These facts alone are enough for companies to choose SMS as one of their proven promotion tools.

However, “reading the message” does not equal “responding to it.” Common reasons include an irrelevant offer and poor wording. Here is how to do it better.

The Formula for the Perfect SMS

SMS as a format is defined by unmatched brevity: when you need to fit an idea into 160 characters, you save not only every word, but every letter.

The essentials: every promotional message should include four elements:

• Brand name (this is where an Alpha Name can help save extra characters)
• The essence of the offer,
• A call to action,
• A deadline.

“Brand 20% off the entire catalog until 07.10! Details short.link”

Let’s also recall a few classic promotion formulas—each of them adapts perfectly to text message campaigns.

AIDA

• Attention,
• Interest,
• Desire,
• Action.

“Prices cut in half! Genuine leather sneakers up to 50% off. Buy on the website.”

4U

• Urgent,
• Useful,
• Unique,
• Ultra specific.

This advertising formula is ideal for limited and unique offers. Read more about this formula in the article “How to Grab Attention in 6 Seconds: The 4U Formula for Headlines and Messages”:

“Free stylist consultation. Reveal your true self! The offer is valid for the first 20 beauties who reply with the word look.”

PAS

• Problem,
• Agitation,
• Solution.

This formula is effective in marketing when you need to press on a pain point that matters to your customers:

“Your body is losing energy, and you wake up with no mood? Dancing changes lives! Trial class as a gift. short.link.”

5 Key Elements of an Effective SMS

When playing with formulas and testing your customers’ pain points, you should keep five components in focus. Without them, the success of an SMS campaign will be questionable.

1. Brand name. This information should appear in the first line—without it, the recipient has only one question: who are these people and what do they want from me?
2. Value here and now. What will the person get if they respond to the message? For example, saving money (promotion), a gift (bonus), an experience, and the opportunity to try something they have never tried before (new product).
3. Clear CTA. Do not leave the recipient hanging and do not make them think about what to do with your message. There should always be a clear call to action: “order,” “go to,” “visit,” “get,” “sign up,” “book,” “view”—the list of verbs in Ukrainian is very long.
4. Time limit, or FOMO. Yes, this is a manipulation, but without a clearly defined deadline, you may never get the purchase.
5. A short link to the website or page. Short — to save characters, because we remember that everything needs to fit into only 160 characters. To learn which link shorteners are available today, read the article “Shortening Links in Campaigns: How to Do It Right”.

What You Should NOT Write

SMS marketing has many unwritten taboos—words and phrases that are risky to use. We cover this in detail in the article “Prohibited Phrases: What Not to Write in SMS Campaigns”.

In short:

• Greetings like “dear customers” are received very poorly; the only exception is if the campaign comes from a government utility company, where this wording is appropriate.
• Manipulative wording—it has long been strongly associated with scam messages. These are phrases like “super profitable offer,” “90% discount,” “don’t miss your chance,” and so on.
• False information about the product. The main risk here is that you will never sell anything to this particular customer again—people do not return to those who lied to them.
• Do not shout. Capital letters are perceived exactly as shouting, and in SMS—as spam.

Compare two versions of the same promotional offer:

1. “5 days of UNREAL DISCOUNTS! Only for those who already had a membership. COME BACK, IT WILL BE MORE EXPENSIVE LATER.”
2. “Up to 70% off fitness memberships for our regular customers. The promotion runs from May 20 to May 25. Call 1234567.”

In the first version of the message, the person is being shouted at. In addition, there is no specificity (except for 5 days)—the reader has to guess what “unreal” means. It ends with crude manipulation — in this context, it looks not like a call to action, but like a threat.

When and How to Send

The success of an SMS campaign is primarily influenced by the content of the message and the value of the offer. However, the sending time also matters. Through trial and error, SMS Club specialists determined that the optimal time for sending campaigns is:

• from 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM
• from 5:00 PM to 7:00 PM

Here is the reasoning: people react to messages differently depending on the time of day. Some believe that the time from 7:00 AM to 10:00 AM can work well for business offers, but this is a debatable conclusion: on the way to work, people rarely plan purchases—in the morning, their minds are focused on plans for the day. They are even less likely to plan pleasant purchases during morning meetings.

After 7:00 PM, people are resting and definitely do not want to make decisions. Violating personal boundaries once again—and advertising always does this, no matter how we may think otherwise — and writing late in the evening is definitely not worth it, as it can lead to unsubscribes.

There are also observations about the days of the week: the best days for campaigns are Tuesday through Friday.

Mondays are strongly associated with stress and the thought that there is “a lot of work”—messages sent on these days are often forgotten.

Weekends are taboo, especially if your audience works in the city on a regular Monday-to-Friday schedule. Offers for the weekend are better sent on Friday or Thursday.

Also consider the situation in the country: after tragic events or mass shelling, an offer may be perceived as inappropriate—nothing will happen if you send it a day later, once emotions have calmed down.

Instead of a Conclusion

There is no universal formula that will solve all SMS-related questions in one move, because the target audience, context, and goal of the message are different every time.

One of the secrets of an SMS that works is testing only. Even the most effective formula will need to be adapted to the audience. That is why it is important to experiment with texts, CTA options, and sending times — and always carefully analyze the results of your campaigns.

For example, a manufacturer of high-quality bed linen, after a forced pause due to the war—relocating production to another city and having its working Instagram page blocked—faced the need to “revive” its old customer base.

The first campaign with the text “The linen brand is back with you, welcome our new page”—and a link to that page—helped bring back around 2,000 customers from the past.

The second campaign, already with a specific promotional offer, significantly boosted sales.

The budget of $250 fully paid off, since the average order value of the product is $125.

Contact us, and we will help you achieve a similar result. An SMS Club copywriter will provide you with a free consultation and help you find the key to making 160 characters bring you real money.